Fabulous As Usual

SUCCESS?

 Today was a job interview day.

Actually, more accurately, it was a followup of a job interview. There was a lot of paperwork and a surprisingly easy-flow conversation with the man who might be/is/IDK, it's highly likely that this man is my new boss.

It looks like I'm gonna be flipping burgers for more than minimum wage now.

Well technically, that'd be FLAME-GRILLING burgers for more than minimum wage. But the place has an anti-harrassment policy, and it has a policy that protects trans people in the workplace.

And me being a trans people, that means a lot in considering a job in a place.

Thanks to that lucky interview, I don't have eighteen thousand applications to fill out in the morning. I can just chill the hell out until I find out when I start.

 

Fabulous As Usual

*settles into place*

 So, a few days ago, I found out that I don't have a job right now.

It proved impossible to get me from this city all the way to St. Louis, and as a result, my tenure as a factory worker is officially over.

What surprises me is that I'm taking this better than I did losing my job at the hotel. But then again, that was an even bigger case of BS than this case: this was the year that they discovered that my slum apartment complex was full of ...ahem, pestilence, and they laid me off supposedly until I could get it taken care of. Well, while I was out there, they canned me before I could get it done.

In a way, this feels similar. I lost this job through circumstances that I couldn't do anything about myself.

More than the last job, though, this was killing my body. My back is wonky, my knees complain more, and through something completely unrelated, my shoulder is just plain fucky, for lack of a better word.

But, when I stop to think about it, I don't regret any of this, either. Everything led me here, to a place where I am doing better than I have in a long time.

BUT the fact remains that this means that I'm out of money coming in.

We're cutting back to essentials until we can get this situation put back together, but man, it's kind of scary. I've never been in this position before: New city, new neighbors, learning to live with a significant other--it's all foreign to me. And while I search for a job, I am basicallly a house spouse until further notice. I mean, I want to be a two-check house, but apparently that ain't just yet.

And yet, I have never felt quite this serene.

I'm not going to ask questions. That'll jinx everything that we have going on right now.

I'm just going to use this downtime to refresh and recover from the last few months.

Now, back to my podcast.

Fabulous As Usual

I'M FREE I'M FREE

 I write this from my new living room.

That's right. I said "my."

Yesterday was my moving day. I landed in this wonderful little place with my wonderful partner, and now I am finally out.

I have to wait for my other stuff to get a pickup day--the truck that we got to get my stuff out of there wasn't quite big enough. We have like...half of my stuff. Very few of the clothes that I have to pick up are guaranteed to fit me. After all, it's been like three years, thirty pounds, and AN ENTIRE THREE NEW CUP SIZES UP FROM WHERE I WAS.

Yah you read that right.

It's ridiculous.

I'll have to see what fits and what needs to be donated directly to the needy.

The thing I'm really looking forward to when my kittens arrive. We had to wait for everything else to be situated before we bring them home with us.

Home.

With us.

Don't wake me up, please.

Fabulous As Usual

Forkbook

 I made a LINE profile because FB's bots suck.

I was muted for...

...calling a piece of bread a slut.

At this point I'm just about done with them. 

But it's 1 AM.

Incidentally I'll be adding friends who ask. 

(Note: I'm not leaving HERE. This place is safe for judging bread.)


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Fabulous As Usual

(no subject)

 Thunder has begun to crawl across the skies after a near unbroken string of heat wave. Normally, this would worry me, but

 

  1. I'm baked out of my gourd to deal with several days of "cannot eat" stomach, and
  2. I'm baked out of my gourd. 

I'm looking for ways out of my current job before it disables me completely. Working instead of resting my shoulder has most likely caused damage, and the sheer heat of the factory floor is wreaking HAVOC on my muscles.

 

As another peal of thunder sounds I find myself thinking about the friends I've made, of the little thrill each time I speak to them.

 

It took forever to get to the point where I feel this. Like, until I was in my 20s I didn't have a frame for reference. 

 

Like seriously people. Treasure that.

Fabulous As Usual

MURIKA DAY...ain't something I'm celebrating this year.

 America day.

 

Explosions.

 

Lights,

 

Barbeque.

 

I'm doing none of it.

 

It's too hot and too...mosquito-y.

 

We holed up in the house to get away from the noise.

 

I went so far as to get back sto FFXIV. Best decision ever.

 

In fact, I'm headed back to Eorzea until it cools off enough to actually sleep.

 

It's like 80F in the house with the AC on... At leasts I have my pretty boys back.


Yup. I'm going fishing.


Remind me to suss out image sizes for posting. Apparently my screengrab is TOO BEEG.

Fabulous As Usual

Gotcha Day

It has been a year since we took in two adorable cats. As in, a year today.

Both of them have taken to me...which I find funny because it wasn't my idea!

And yet, now I will regularly wake up with two cats asleep on either boob. (Yes, I can breathe...mostly...)

Happy Gotcha Day, Shelly and Darling Prince!

I'll share pics when I can figure out how to stop my phone from fighting the box. I might just have to dust off my Imgur account.
Fabulous As Usual

Home Setbacks, Hearth Setbacks...and a LOT of Acespec discourse...

 The good news is that I've managed to get a raise. The bad news is that my way out of here has hit a snag. As it turned out, the place that I was thinking about putting in an application for is backed up to hell and back, and I'm just one more paper in the stack.

 

So I'm going to have to dust off my passwords for things like Indeed, CareerBuilder, etc.

 

I'm definitely not going back to housekeeping. Damn near twelve years of that was enough. Between the burnout and the literal sciatica, there's just no way I'm going to be able to do that again.

 

Meanwhile, I'm trying to figure out a lot of things. For one, I know two things for certain:

 

1) I am definitely not aro, and

2) I am definitely more ace than I thought.

 

I am perplexed by the people who don't get acespec identities. For one, it's like, what are you afraid of, that we won't do something? And the infighting about labels. They get called unnecessary, but those of us who have them worked hard to be seen. (Let me get one thing clear: I do not support foisting labels on people who didn't ask for them; this is all about one's own labels.)

 

It seems to be an old guard vs. new guard thing, this aversion to more labels even just existing. As (an old) millennial, I am all for the new phraseology. The words to explain how I feel didn't exist in my teens, or even my late twenties. I am positively enamored with the fact that a way to explain me exists now, when it didn't before. 

 

And I don't want that taken away. Which is what all this arguing feels like: "your labels are ridiculous, our old ones are good enough."

 

It gets dismissed as "the tumblrification of identity," but the fact is, things like Tumblr aren't exactly completely new. Before, ideas like this were disseminated in person (something that you can't really do right now in the era of COVID), or on message boards and such. I don't understand what would make that superior to what is going on now. Yeah, we stumble and fumble around a bit, but so did the old guard. In a lot of ways, we are more similar than we are different; it's another case of vs., in this case Old Tired versus Young Tired. I mean fuck, we should be at least bonding over that much!

 

The worst part of it is that I feel like I can't really speak up. I didn't really fall solidly into where I am until a couple of years ago, after a lot of living in denial about it. (That...that happens to a lot of us in the LGBTQ++ community, I've noticed.) When I finally felt like I could say something on it, there was all this...well I wouldn't call it vitriol, but it was a whole lot of Not Nice. You know, shit like "that doesn't exist" "you're just normal" "How is that different from the rest of people out there?"

 

Invalidation. That's what all this resistance boils down to. Invalidation. And we can't do much about it beyond attempting to advocate for ourselves in the face of it. It feels like a great big plate of nothing, when one's got no allies to back them up on it.

 

It's a good thing that the rest of the New Guard has a lot of fight in it. We shouldn't have to do this alone.

Fabulous As Usual

There's a reason why I don't talk to this woman anymore...

 Story time! CW cannabis use and some seriously fucked up shit.

 

At one point, while I was waiting for my apartment to be ready, I lived with my dad and my stepmother. We...didn't get along well for the longest time, me and her. The reason I first left that place was the day I woke up and, for my birthday, received several lashes with an extension cord for not confessing to the theft of some of...MY earmarked groceries.

 

Yeah, it doesn't make sense. Don't think about it too hard.

 

After a few years, we reconnected. And we got along really well for a whlie. ...then it got weird.

 

One day, when we--that is, me, my dad, and her--were having a serious little smoke sesh, Dad gets up to get something from the downstairs, probably a beer, can't really remember. That left us two in the room prepping the next blunt.

 

Then she turns to me and goes "I know what you're up to."

 

Right then I wasn't up to anything but getting that next blunt started, I wanted to be FLYING, ok? So all I could do was look at her blankly holding the blunt wrapper, confused as fuck.

 

"I know what you're up to. You can't have him. HE IS MINE."

 

I blink once, hard. Did she just imply...

 

"I give him what you can't, even if you're trying."

 

OKAY YEAH SHE'S IMPLYING WHAT I THOUGHT SHE WAS AND I WASN'T JUST HIGH AS A KITE.

 

Fun fact, we--that is, me and her--haven't spoken since. Because, you know, the SERIOUSLY GROSS acccusations of me having and acting on an Electra complex

Fabulous As Usual

Walking on AIR, man

 I can't believe my luck right now.

 

And for once I mean that in the good sense.

 

I had an amazing birthday on the 29th...I went out with the guy I've been seeing and, in the CUTEST WAY POSSIBLE, he asked me to be his official joyfriend. (That's a gender neutral alternative to boy/girlfriend. He handed me a card, written in German, and was like "You should translate this" with barely disguised glee in his voice...

 

AND THAT WAS HOW HE ASKED.

 

OF COURSE I SAID YES.

 

Y'all. I don't think I've had it this good before. Here is a man who sees me for me, doesn't fetishize me, doesn't make me feel weird about being nonbinary, and practically freakin worships the ground I fall face-first into.

 

Is...is this what a good relationship is like? A dragon's gotta ask.

 

I think I'm gonna go back to waiting for his video call.